On we go, the blog continues. This follows on from Part One, but I’m sure as an intelligent person you will have guessed that! So, no flowery intro, just straight into the nitty gritty. Enjoy…

Wilting In The Heat

So there I am, on the river, it’s baking hot, the place is deserted, I’ve baited a flier, waited a while before casting out and I’m waiting for the rod tip to be wrenched round on my first cast but somehow my heart’s not in it. If I wait a bit longer I know I’ll catch, but you’d have to chain me to the bank to make me do that. I’ve had enough. It’s too hot. I’m not feeling it. All that effort for five minutes fishing and I’m off! No, I can’t explain it. There is no sensible explanation.

A Quick Mugging

I called in at Lakeside Fisheries, Ranskill for a cuppa and quick social with the owners. ‘How’s the carp lake doing?’ I ask. ‘A bit slow.’ Came the reply. ‘Mind if I have a look?’ ‘Help yourself. Show ’em how it’s done.’ So I drive over to the lake, sneak up to the first peg and blow me if there isn’t a carp sunbathing in the weeds no more than 18 inches from the edge. Slipping into stealth mode I grab a bag of mixers and creep right up to the fish so there’s just a stand of vegetation between me and the fish. Carefully I flick out a few mixers, two at a time. Sure enough the fish hears them land. Will it investigate? Tense moments pass and sure enough, it can clearly smell them. For a second I think I’ve spooked it because it sinks down in the water and disappears from view. And then a shape materialises below one of the baits. Slurp! It’s gone and the fish is hunting down another. Carp have to crunch on hard mixers and the noise attracts other carp. Before long there are three carp in an area that’s barely a metre square. All I have to do is keep the fish interested and introduce a hook bait. Easier said than done without spooking the fish but soon enough I get a chance to lay a bait with my line hidden on top of the weeds. Up come the lips, down goes the mixer and all hell lets loose when I set the hook. Fortunately the fish bolts for open water. Get in! The fun starts when I land it. This fish does not want to co-operate with the pictures. It goes absolutely mental on the bank, so I put it back in the net and rest it in the margins. That doesn’t help at all! This is the angriest, most awkward carp I’ve ever caught. It’s not so much deep as wide, tubular almost, thick set and muscular. At this rate it’ll bash itself senseless. Or me… Whack! I take an almighty swipe in the chops from its powerful tail. Ouch! Oh bugger! It’s only smashed my glasses. That’s right my Optilabs, top of the range, varifocal, prescription polarising specs! Jeezus wept. This is getting ridiculous. But I get there in the end. Oh well, the good news is Optilabs can replace the frames and refit my existing lenses. At least the most expensive bits, the lenses survived unscathed.

Update: I posted off the broken specs to Optilabs on July 25th. They arrived back with me on July 30th, frames replaced – just 5 days including postage both ways and a weekend. Now that’s what I call amazing service. Cheers Optilabs!

Oh B*ll***s!

It’s a funny old game. You think you’re the dog’s whatsits and then it all goes to cock! Having done the business at Ranskill in ten minutes flat I decided to chance my luck at Alderfen. It was a bit breezy to say the least but I was sure a couple of fish had my name on them. Owner Dave was sure I’d catch. I was certain I’d catch. The fish thought otherwise. I had two good chances in my first two casts and didn’t even strike because I didn’t feel they had the bait properly in their mouths. Didn’t want to risk spooking them but I might as well have because they buggered off after that! The ‘Fen fish have this annoying habit of mouthing the controller. They pull it right under and spit it out as if to say, ‘Look, p*** off, we’re on to you. Stop wasting your time.’ Well the next one tried that and wrapped himself up in the line. The fight that followed was a bit hairy as I’d no control over the fish at all. Not surprisingly the line eventually worked free. Another chance came and went. Hands up, I mistimed it. This was turning into one of those afternoons as I wilted in the heat. And then my big moment came. I hooked a fish that went mental. It screamed off towards the far corner reeds at an alarming rate. I couldn’t slow it down but it ran out of steam just a little way short of sanctuary. Whew! It boiled for a few seconds, turned and then set off at high speed for the middle of the lake. Was this Mental Monday or something? And then the hook pulled. Bollocks! That was it. Time to go home.

Fancy A Weekly Fix?

A lot of folk gain pleasure from reading my blog, probably because it covers more than fishing, because I poke a bit of fun, express the occasional outrageous viewpoint and generally poke fun at the pompous and the self-important. Of course I recognise this may wind up the less intelligent who can’t recognise it for what it is, which is invariably a bit of fun. ‘Stick to the fishing!’ They moan. Well, that’s not going to happen, is it? I aim to make the blog different to the hum-drum monotony of the average fishing blog which invariably goes like this: Went fishing, chucked out a bolt rig, caught a fish, took a crap photograph, here it is, aren’t I clever…? It’ll be just like the previous blog and the next one will be much the same, unless the writer doesn’t catch anything and then the blog will hibernate till he does. Sorry. Boring! My advice is, if you don’t enjoy or appreciate the diversity of my blog then don’t read it! In fact, why are you reading it now? Oh, I see, it’s free. Okay. 😉 But seriously, if you just want fishing and fishing alone, read my weekly Weekend Sport column instead. You can read the latest article in the Weekend Sport but if you’re too tight to part with a few coppers then there’s I’m running the 2013 columns here on the web site, exactly one year old so the content is precisely relevant. Providing the software works it’s scheduled to appear each Monday morning at 6am. Why not get into the habit of ending your weekend or starting your week with a cuppa and my fishing article? It’s short, concise, punchy and solely about fishing. Isn’t that what you want?

The Kids Are Alright

Kids are the future of our sport. Everyone knows that, but what are you doing about it? What are the major companies doing? Some, like Daiwa, Leeda and Pure Fishing are on board but all companies, big and small really should be lending some kind of support. Doesn’t have to be much to make a difference. It is the future of everyone’s business after all. I take my hat off to the folks who actually organise National Fishing Month but it does beg the question, how much support have the myriad angling bloggers and web site owners given in the way of publicity? It would cost nothing to give NFM a plug, would it? Surely with 381 organised events taking place across the country there’s bound to be one somewhere near you. Even so, it is supposed to be the world wide web, not some parochial church magazine. Could you help out at a local event in some way perhaps? Many clubs are doing their bit under the radar. For example I attended a junior fishing event organised by the Nottingham Piscatorial Society. A staggering 36 kids turned up and fished a 4-hour match. Come the final whistle every single one of them was still sat on their peg. And of course they went home with a fabulous array of prizes, trophies, certificates and so on. The committee, the volunteers and particularly James Brown all deserved massive praise for their efforts. I’m trying not to single out individuals because it’s a dead cert I’ll forget someone so let’s just say it was a magnificent team effort.

1-2-3-4, I remember You…, Ooh-ooh-ooh, Ooooh…

I was sad to hear that Tommy Ramone has died. He was the last original member of the Ramones and now joins Johnny, Joey and Dee Dee in the place where great rockers go. Oddly it never actually occurred to me until now that none of the band members were actually related. They just seemed so right together – at least from the outside looking in. Apparently there was massive conflict within ‘the family’. This is a page from my diary. Monday 23rd May 1977 was my wedding anniversary yet I was out that evening promoting a gig – how on earth did I get away with that one! It is one of those nights that are etched in my memory. Possibly the finest performance I ever saw, certainly up there with the Sex Pistols final UK performance on Christmas Day of the same year at Huddersfield’s Ivanhoe club. Nothing prepared me for the rush of pure adrenaline they delivered. You know how it goes, “1-2-3-4…” I had a pretty amazing support act on the same bill. Yes, that is the Talking Heads. My memory can be suspect at the best of times but I’m fairly sure we charged £2.50 on the door.

Club Anglers Shown How It’s Done

I publish reports from hundreds of club matches in the Sheffield Star newspaper each year through my weekly angling column. During the 17 years I’ve been a columnist there’s been a marked shift away from natural venues. It wasn’t always so but I doubt I now get more than one or two reports each month from a river or canal, if I’m lucky. It’s invariably carp or bust on the commercial highway for today’s club angler. Match secretaries tell me they get castigated for even suggesting a match on the Trent but maybe if these clubs put in a bit of effort they might be rewarded. You’ll hear no complaints from the Fighting Cocks AC who fished at Holme Marsh. Barry Owen romped home with 92lb 11oz of bream to 8lb 3oz using chopped worm and caster. You needed more than 40lb to make the top five. Same match also produced a 12lb barbel. Makes you wonder what the ‘expert’ carbellers are playing at with their fancy branded special baits, camped out for days on end, fishing all night with multiple rods and still struggling to catch owt. I know a number of very experienced anglers who have never caught a 20lb carp yet an ever growing number of match anglers have as fish in the commercials continue to pack on weight. More and more often these specimens are landed on the pole, like this one, which was hooked whilst fishing down the edge by Steve Lambley, one of my Sheffield club match angler regulars. Steve joined the ‘twenties’ club with this 20lb 3oz specimen, taken during a regular club fixture at Clearwater Lakes Fishery last week. Well done that man!

I’ll Be Back!

Just read Arnold Schwarzenegger’s biography, Total Recall. It’s a remarkable rags to riches, to power tale of a boy born into famine, in Austria, who grows up with a dream. He heads for America, a penniless immigrant determined to be a world champion who became a property millionaire and then went into movies, married a Kennedy and became the leader of the world’s seventh largest economy. It’s quite a tale.

On page 618 – well he has led a full life(!) – Arnie says, ‘Don’t rest on your laurels. Too many former ******** spend their lives talking about how great they were twenty years ago, …they wish they could still be somebody and not just talk about the past.’

Surely that will strike a chord with one or two angling know-alls, don’t you think?

The Secret Lake

Had an invite to check out a ‘secret’ lake the other day. Wow! What a place. There’s probably around 900 yards of bank but the vast majority of it is completely inaccessible. Currently there are three double swims and a fourth that is closed off due to there being a huge snag in it. Half the fish hooked there have been lost in the snag so it’s obviously a no-no until it gets sorted. So far it has been fished lightly, just for carp, and it has produced a few very impressive fish. The thing is no-one has any idea what else might be lurking in there. Big eels, more than likely. Tench, I should think so. Rudd, maybe and perhaps a big pike or two, or monster perch even. Could be anything in there. So much else to do though. It’s a fabulous dilemma to have.

I’m Officially Jealous

In part one I featured a rudd image by Chris Turnbull. Looks like I jumped the gun because he’s added three more to the collection.

Wow, eh! I simply have to take my hat off to anyone who is blessed with so much talent. The images are available as signed limited edition prints at £38 each or £90 for a set of three. Close my eyes and I can visualise them on my dining room wall now. More details on his Facebook Page and full contact details can be found on his web site.

Update: Stone me. There’s only ten of these images! Check this link for the whole set.

Cheers Dave

I’ve enjoyed a couple of fabulous spreads in Angling Times this past fortnight courtesy of Dave Harrell.

It was an absolute pleasure to fish with Dave and we plan to do more on other venues. I’ll let you know when that happens, obviously.

Fatwa Territory?

Monty Dalrymple made me smile when he wrote: ‘Now I know dear old Bob Roberts tweaked the nose of Fatwa (Barbel Fishing World) recently on his blog. But Bob you over stepped the mark, taking the piss out of Fatwa is my remit. Go and find your own forum to take the piss out of, please.’

I’m sorry Monty, no offense, but your remit is not exclusive. If a web site chooses to publish un-moderated slurs and personal attacks on me for no reason other than it makes the no-marks who are responsible feel good about the site then I shall reserve the right to tweak its nose whenever and however I feel so inclined.

But please don’t imagine I derive pleasure from the process. The site has fallen so far from the relevance it once enjoyed my action feels rather like kicking a dying rat as it expires in the gutter. But sadly it has to be done. The owners of BFW know exactly how to prevent my comments. One wonders why they are so afraid of positive moderation. Surely they wouldn’t deliberately court such attention…?

Get Well Soon Jan!

It would be an understatement to say that Jan Porter hasn’t been enjoying the best of health lately. You may not be aware of his situation so I’m sharing this incredibly positive post from his Facebook Page: Happy B’day Dad (Terry Porter 1930-2006) Today would have been your 84th but you were taken away from us in 2006, hardly an angling day of my life goes by without you in my thoughts. There are also many days when I see myself displaying many of your traits and characteristics as I approach 59 years old, which isn’t a bad thing mostly You were my teacher, mentor, coach, friend, benefactor and a brilliant dad/grandfather, I know you are constantly looking down on us all and although we are not being able to see you or chat there will always be a healthy connection that will continue to inspire me and sneak a few bonus fish on the hook for me here and there. Hope you are catching a few fella and our love for you will never diminish. I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to celebrate my dads birthday with some positive news about my health, out of the blue I was given the opportunity of a liver resection which entails hacking out a big chunk of the liver and while the surgeon was in there he also removed another lobe that had a tumour and ablated anything else he could see. Although it’s not a cure if things go to plan then it will potentially give me a longer life expectancy than before, I was knocked back on this operation at Birmingham University Hospital as the specialist there deemed my liver to be too riddled with secondary bowel cancer spored from a bowel tumour I had removed in Nov 2012. After 23 sessions of chemotherapy since Jan 2013 it appears that some of my lesions had shrunk and as a consequence my Oncologist Dr Correa passed on my files to another Coventry University Hospital based surgeon Dr Marangoni. After a consultation with him in late June this year he agreed to perform this operation and do what he could to root out anything along the way, as you can imagine I was stunned and overjoyed to be able to get this chance which I grabbed with both hands. On July the 9th I went under the knife and after 6 hours in theatre, Dr Marangoni and his team did what they could, this involved removing a large section of my liver where the main affected area was, another lobe that had a large lesion and took my gall bladder out for good measure. I popped in to see him yesterday and he was very pleased with the way the op went so it’s just a matter of taking things easy for a few weeks, no driving for 6 weeks and no heavy lifting in any way. Clearly this will see me out of action on the bank and at the moment I’m just about getting the pain from the operation under control, after the expected tough recuperation period just after the op I’m feeling a little more human now. I just wanted to say a huge thanks to my family, close friends, far flung acquaintances and social media supporters who have definitely given me a massive boost since I was diagnosed in 2012. It’s not been all plain sailing but with everyones help and a positive outlook it’s been made much easier and given me drive to take this battle head on and live life to the max. And, of course, not forgetting Big Tel who I know will have had a hand in this from that big duckpond in the sky, I mean who’s going to continue to grow his shallots if I don’t Good Luck, Many Thanks & Great Angling! Jan Considering how much enjoyment Jan has given anglers down the years through his articles, videos, TV work and appearances at shows, would it hurt you to drop him a message of support via his Facebook Page? Go on. A little thought goes a long way on what will be a tough road to recovery.

Why, Why, Why…?

I really don’t understand the mentality of the Environment Agency’s policy towards weed cutting on small rivers. Many rivers were destroyed in the late 1970s and early ’80s when they had the character dredged out of them under the guise of flood defence work. All trees and vegetation had to go, meanders were straightened, the fluid channel dug in a regular trapezoid and effectively they became drainage ditches engineered to shift water from A to B as quickly as possible. The folly of this engineering was all too plainly obvious during last winter’s floods. At the time I wrote to the EA and questioned their strategy for a local river. Their response treated me like an idiot. Did I think that dredging would make the river shallower? They asked, mockingly. Well actually it has done. Who’s so clever and authoritative now? Tells me that for all their expertise and qualifications they understand f*** all! That river typifies many. The water sits in a channel. The width and depth is even. The flow is pretty much even. On either side, set back several metres are high flood banks graded at around 45 degrees. It really doesn’t matter what you do with the main channel because in a flood situation the flood banks take care of the volume of excess water which will flow high above the regular river channel. Weedbeds provide a refuge for fish in times of high levels by deflecting the flow and this deflection creates scour so the gravel is cleaned and fluctuations in depth occur. It can be argued that weeds speed up the flow although logic says this: given constant flows the volume of water entering the river over its course is identical to that leaving it (ignoring abstraction and evaporation). Otherwise it would get deeper by the hour until the banks overflowed. That doesn’t happen whether you cut the weed or not. The EA is selective about cutting in that it does not cut weed in every river. What is the criteria under which they operate and plan? Is it a case of, well, we’ve always done it here? For some inexplicable reason the EA likes to cut the weed on my local river right at the beginning of the fishing season – they’ve even done it on June 16th in the past. I say ‘cut’ but don’t confuse this with prune or manage. Think eradicate. It’s a scorched earth policy and undertaken straight after the fish have spawned. Huge rafts of weed then float off downstream making fishing difficult at best, impossible at worst. Let’s list the negatives here: 1. After cutting the river level rapidly drops by around a foot, which for much of the river is greater than a third of the depth. 2. Any spawn remaining on the weeds is swept away. 3. There is precious little shelter from predation for fry or even mature stocks. 4. The vehicle used has caterpillar tracks that churn up the gravel thus disturbing any eggs and vertebrae existing in said gravel. Let’s list the positives: 1. It’s good for cormorants and otters. 2. Can’t think of any others. Like I say it has no impact on flooding risks. Under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1973 it became an offense to disturb nesting birds. The punishment is set at £1,000 per nest. Are fish not wildlife? Do rivers not run through the countryside? Why does this law not prevent wholesale vandalism on an industrial scale? The river once had vast shoals of roach including specimens running to well over 2lbs. There were loads of bream from hand-sized skimmers to specimens over 6lbs. They’ve all vanished. Chub numbers are decreasing. Barbel, a later day alien introduction appear to be doing okay although they do not appear to achieve the same growth rates seen on other rivers in the area. Why the EA needs to cut every scrap of weed from bank to bank throughout the entire river is beyond my understanding nor is why the cutting has to take place in mid-June to mid-July. That simply beggars belief. The EA’s brief was to adopt and improve rivers, not destroy them. Whoever is responsible for these actions clearly cares nothing for the impact on aquatic wildlife and therefore should hang their head in shame. It’s a disgrace. Ironically, if removal of vegetation to increase flow at times of flood actually did have an impact then surely they could increase the flow by mowing the banks instead. In fact it would have a bigger impact because there’s more of it. Ah, but there’s a huge flaw? It would disturb nesting birds and run the risk of heavy fines. Frankly it’s the timing that gets me. If cutting has to be done then why is it not done in September, or October? And why does it have to be bank to bank? Honestly, I cannot see the logic. These folk are supposed to be the guardians of our waterways not vandals.

Putting The Boot In

I thoroughly loved my time competing in club matches and to this day I still do all I can to encourage and support it through my writing and local newspaper column. The majority of club anglers enjoy a good laugh and a wind-up. It’s a lot more fun than the open match circuit, so, I’ll finish the fishing part of this extraordinarily long blog with a very short homage to a lady who has taken loads and loads of stick from a certain young man who got his just deserts recently.

Anne Turner is a keen shoe collector (sorry, angler!). In recent season’s she’s beaten every angler in the Houghton Main AC bar one – and Rob Burgin has never missed a chance to remind her of this. Rob winds her up at every opportunity – on the bank, in the club, on social media, you name it, so much so that he’s been bragging that if she ever beat him she could throw him in the lake.

Well, we all know where that was heading, don’t we…?

Well done Anne!

The Footie Bit

I appreciate some folk don’t read my ramblings on football. That’s their loss, not mine. But have a look at this article. It’ll make you chuckle. It’s from the Doncaster Rovers fanzine about the great dilemma armchair football fans face when choosing which Premiership team to support. Of course we all enjoyed the greatest World Cup Finals ever, didn’t we? Funny how this idea was floated by those pundits living in 5 star luxury at our expense. Hang on though, did they really go all that way so they could watch the games on TV by Copa Cabana beach. What’s all that about? Surely they could have seen exactly the same footage in a studio in London, or Manchester? So why did they have to be there? To sample the atmosphere? Give over! The bollocks they talk before, during and after the games would have been exactly the same, surely? And what exactly did we learn from these pundits? Half of them could barely string a sentence together in English.

Those expert panels are a serious waste of money. How many of you, like me, switched on a few minutes prior to kick-off, disappeared into the kitchen at half time and switched off at the final whistle? If we’re being honest, virtually all the exciting games came early on. With just a couple of notable exceptions, games from the quarter finals onwards were largely drawn out boring affairs. Shame about all the cheating, biting, simulation and diving, too. By the time we’d got to the last four I couldn’t pick a team that I would be happy to see win it. Dutch – Divers. Germany – Divers. Argentine/ Malvenas – one-man hopefuls. Brazil – dirty divers. Nuff said? The main match commentators did an excellent job on the whole, describing what they saw, informing us of what was happening as the dramas unfolded. It’s the expert summarisers that drive me nuts. These are former footballers who are supposed to be knowledgeable and have a greater understanding of the game than the rest of us. If that’s the case then why do I need Andy Townsend chipping in all the time, interrupting the commentary and telling me what might have happened ‘if…’, or telling me he’s ‘seen them given’. THIS Andy Townsend masterclass is pure genius. It explains everything you need to know. His inane drivel drives me bonkers. I don’t want to know what might have happened IF the man had taken another touch, or squared the ball, or stayed on his feet. That’s pure supposition, didn’t happen and no matter how many times and from however many angles you play it back it ain’t going to happen. He lives in a fantasy world. Shut the fcuk up Townsend! You’re spouting rubbish again! How do I know? His lips are moving!

There’s even an HM Government petition to get rid of him here! Oh, and this goes to all of them, when the flag goes up and the ref blows his whistle, it’s offside. End of. Showing replays, overlaying lines and shading don’t change anything. The ref has ruled offside. Doesn’t matter if the replay suggests it’s close or if he’s half a yard off or half a yard on. The ref makes the decision, not Andy Townsend. In umpteen years of prattle he’s never got a single decision overturned, so why does he bother? Because he likes the sound of his own voice.

Ultimately only one man makes the call. He’s the one with a whistle and is called the referee. The job of the expert summariser is to be an expert and to summarise. I want his interpretation of the tactical changes that are happening, who’s playing deeper, why a team has changed its formation, what is a diamond, and where is ‘the hole’ and this channel they go on about? I want to be informed and educated about the finer points of the game. I tend to watch the BBC more than ITV simply because I find it impossible to listen to Andy Townsend for more than about 10 minutes. By then I’ve gone from muttering to shouting at the TV and that’s not normal, is it? Or maybe it is among fans who share my opinion.

Unfortunately the BBC’s alternative choice for the World Cup Final was Mark Lawrenson and this bloke gives Townsend a damned good run for his money. Lawrenson still thinks it is 1982 and the rules of the game have not changed. Someone should inform him they have. It’s not his job to tell players who patently can’t hear him to, ‘Get up man, he barely touched you!’. Apparently Cardiff fans share similar views! And Bob Mortimer has a point… Is it too much to ask that we have, say, a former coach to explain the tactic formations and changes instead, explaining what could be done to change the game and why a particular switch has been made. Indeed why do we need a former professional anyway? Do you have to have played the game at the highest level to be an expert? If so, let’s drop the expert summariser altogether because we are paying them up to a million quid a year and all we get is a load of old twaddle. #niceworkifyoucangetit

That’s What Makes You Beautiful

Alas the Doncaster Rovers take-over by John Ryan and One Direction’s Louis Tomlinson has failed. Apparently John Ryan is no longer deemed a fit and proper person by the Football League.

Let me get this right. They approve Cellino at Leeds who’s been charged with tax evasion. The Vincent Tan’s and Carson Yeung’s of this world are fine, so are SISU, Tikki-taka-whatsit at Man Citeh, that ‘bleurk’ at ‘Ull who wants to change their name and all the other oligarch’s, gangsters and sheikhs.

The list of acceptable reprobates goes on and on, yet they turn down JR – a man who saved the club from extinction, steered them from the Conference to the Championship, moved them into an all-seated 15,000 capacity stadium, already owns 24% of the shares, has been a lifelong fan and a track record in the game spanning 16 years.

Apparently that all counts for diddley squat. I’ll be the first to admit I have never really forgiven JR for sacking Sean O’Driscoll by text nor the manner of his contract severance, or for appointing a truly idiotic replacement (Saunders) and for recruiting Willie McKay’s mercenaries. You could throw in his tantrum tainted resignation minutes before the start of a local derby at Barnsley as well.

However, for all his faults he was passionate about the club and life was never dull under his stewardship. Initially he promised the earth and delivered so much, but sometimes he got a little carried away with his ambition and enthusiasm for self publicity. Hard to fault him for that. But to suggest he’s not a fit and proper person is ludicrous. Or is it? We don’t know the full facts, do we? We never do. The FL is either misguided, stupid or very shrewd. Money talks in football, end of. Doesn’t matter how corrupt you are providing you can wave enough readies under the noses of the FL committee and it’s okay. Maybe JR and LT don’t have the necessary readies to fund the dream.

It’s a sad day for football though. It’s an even sadder day for Doncaster Rovers. We might just as well roll over and allow Greg Dyke to introduce B teams into the Football League. No longer are football clubs about local people and the community. It’s about who has the deepest pockets. They are rich men’s play things. Status symbols. Something that can be bought and traded when you get bored or it doesn’t work out. Another decade of pain and suffering beckons. Indeed there’s a very interesting take on the subject here: The failed football aspirations of a pop star.

Okay, that’s your lot for this month. I know, most probably gave up ages ago and didn’t make it this far, but to those who stuck with it to the bitter end, through Parts 1 & 2, I thank you! And goodnight… See you next month.